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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2183 comments.
SoImAWriterNow BRONZE said...
on Jul. 29 2013 at 5:57 pm
This comment probably won't mean much since you have over 1,000 but I just had to say that this poem left me stunned. I don't know why though. I loved the rhyming in it and the flow but the ending struck me so hard. That's how I know a poem's great. When it leaves my mind reeling and me speechless. You deserved to have this published. Great job :)
Scarlett.Blazing BRONZE said...
on Jul. 29 2013 at 11:21 am
wow... i really enjoyed your work! its a very stylish way to get across what your saying and i enjoyed it :)
catwithglasses SILVER said...
on Jul. 25 2013 at 8:59 pm
I really like this. It shows what it feels like to be imprisoned and chained in sort of a subtle way.
StarGazer9 GOLD said...
on Jul. 21 2013 at 3:37 pm
Ya sure, but in this poem "birdie" is reffered to as an actual bird. When he saw the bird it made him want to fly. Makes sense to me!
Bluetooth13 SILVER said...
on Jul. 17 2013 at 3:09 pm
Good job! :) check out my work@
princesse said...
on Jul. 15 2013 at 8:42 pm
nice job :}
Cierra Smiley said...
on Jul. 13 2013 at 9:49 am
STATEN ISLAND WOO!! I just had to do that lol. Beautifu poem
Quratulain BRONZE said...
on Jul. 12 2013 at 12:57 pm
You really write well.Loved it !
LittleMissLostInParadise GOLD said...
on Jul. 10 2013 at 12:24 pm
The term "birdie" is reffering to golf, a score in which the ball is hit into the hole using one stroke fewer than the accepted standard number of strokes par for that hole.
paigeswifka GOLD said...
on Jul. 9 2013 at 4:22 pm
This is an incredible piece. The way that the narrator spoke from an almost child-like point of view really helped to show the theme that you were aiming to send your readers. The innocent voice used really helped to tie the poem together.
MoonNymph775 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 22 2013 at 10:20 am
Love the ending!
ScarletBluez BRONZE said...
on Jun. 13 2013 at 10:15 pm
I really love the simplistic tone conveying childhood naivety yet the topic in question is so deep.It is very well written, a truly beautiful poem, and I can relate to it so well. Thank you for your lovely piece, keep writing :)
chocolatina PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 12 2013 at 4:24 pm
it stinks to have those kind of parents
dragonfly95 SILVER said...
on May. 26 2013 at 12:23 pm
wow, I really liked this. It kind of made me choke up. well done.
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