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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2183 comments.

Bluetooth13 SILVER said...
on Feb. 1 2014 at 5:16 pm
Bluetooth13 SILVER, A Town In, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
To play a wrong note is insignificant, to play without passion is inexcusable.<br /> <br /> ~ Ludwig van Beethoven

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Really good! Would someone critique my work? I need feedback
LifeLeader PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 30 2014 at 6:14 pm
LifeLeader PLATINUM, Roanoke, Virginia
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Wow! This poem is written beautifully!
poet_girl101 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 24 2014 at 3:12 pm
poet_girl101 BRONZE, The Colony, Texas
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
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It can have many meanings to it but in this case I think it means that though it may seem as if you will drown your dad will always have your back its deep in the meaning @Miley Cyrus
alyssa-smith BRONZE said...
on Jan. 20 2014 at 2:21 am
alyssa-smith BRONZE, Dulles, Virginia
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Punk is musical freedom. It&#039;s saying, doing and playing what you want. In Webster&#039;s terms, &#039;nirvana&#039; means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world, and that&#039;s pretty close to

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meant* could*
Leetha PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 14 2014 at 3:16 pm
Leetha PLATINUM, Saint Joseph, Missouri
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This left chills down my spine, I love it!
blakrose PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 10 2014 at 1:57 pm
blakrose PLATINUM, Anchorage, Alaska
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It's truly an amazing piece. :)
blakrose PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 10 2014 at 1:56 pm
blakrose PLATINUM, Anchorage, Alaska
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Love it! It's a beautiful piece. :)
ChasityTaylor SILVER said...
on Jan. 4 2014 at 9:03 pm
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This is an amazing poem.
author_musical PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 29 2013 at 8:59 pm
author_musical PLATINUM, Torrington, Wyoming
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This is truly amazing. I don't quite understand the title but it's really deep. Can you check out some of my work if you get the chance?
dain01 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 28 2013 at 9:26 pm
dain01 BRONZE, Nonya, Ohio
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Love the poem but all the uncapitalized i's are making me go insane
Joboe13 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 22 2013 at 9:17 pm
Joboe13 BRONZE, Plymouth, Massachusetts
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This poem is amazing!!! It's really deep, and it really makes you think. You are an amazing poet, keep up the good work!
Miley Cyrus said...
on Dec. 18 2013 at 2:46 pm
I liked it it was pretty cool I don't understand the the name it doesn't make sense to me. It woud be cool if you culd clarify what you ment
Briipeaaa BRONZE said...
on Dec. 13 2013 at 8:32 am
Briipeaaa BRONZE, Lewiston, Maine
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Might I say, you have impeccible talent. I wish I could write like you.
MichealMulkey SILVER said...
on Dec. 9 2013 at 10:50 am
MichealMulkey SILVER, Easley, South Carolina
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Hey, my names Micheal Mulkey. Im a young writer from Easley, SC and It'd be really appreciated if someone could view my articles. Thank you!
broken123456789 SILVER said...
on Dec. 6 2013 at 10:39 am
broken123456789 SILVER, Glendale, Arizona
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this was very touching becuase it helped me undersatand to never give up  
gabbymigdalski said...
on Dec. 5 2013 at 7:11 pm
gabbymigdalski, Wiilmington, Delaware
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This poem caught my attention right away. The way it rhymes and how all the words almost fit into place pulled me right in. I love how in the poem the kid wanted to try everything. He wanted to learn how to fly and swim and he never stop trying until the end. I think this is a great poem and is probably  on my list for top 10 poems I have ever read. 
mady.neal GOLD said...
on Dec. 4 2013 at 8:26 am
mady.neal GOLD, Monrovia, Indiana
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I think that this was a really good poem!  The transition from see to sky was really elegant and you did well!  the only advice that I would give is to be careful to capitalize what needs to be (your I's).  Great job though!  
Lullabymidnight BRONZE said...
on Dec. 3 2013 at 10:26 am
Lullabymidnight BRONZE, Ailey, Georgia
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The poem was great! I really love the symbolism!  
BrinaJo2018 GOLD said...
on Dec. 1 2013 at 8:43 pm
BrinaJo2018 GOLD, Memphis, Tennessee
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I really liked the poem. I loved how you ended it with the dad being the ultimate reason the son couldn't leave and try to reach his goal. Over-all, a great poem with really good rhymes.  
SweetDarkness PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 1 2013 at 5:09 am
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this is a very well constructed poem, i like it a lot. Kepp it up, you're great.