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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2183 comments.

Roe-Daniels BRONZE said...
on Dec. 23 2012 at 1:21 am
Roe-Daniels BRONZE, >>>>>>>, Other
2 articles 0 photos 49 comments
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This is so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AnnaFofana GOLD said...
on Dec. 18 2012 at 2:54 pm
AnnaFofana GOLD, Wausau, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 7 comments

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The point is we can&#039;t help who we fall in love with<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> - unknown

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I really liked that. I had an image and everything i love it. Good job
bbgawd SILVER said...
on Dec. 18 2012 at 8:28 am
bbgawd SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments
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I just got back into writing but I must say this is Amazing, then end really got me .. Keep it up ! <3
carolinagirl996 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 17 2012 at 12:12 am
carolinagirl996 BRONZE, Wake Forest, North Carolina
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&quot;It&#039;s not what you look at that matters, It&#039;s what you see.&quot;

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wow... beautiful! I love this
Inoui_Fou BRONZE said...
on Dec. 14 2012 at 10:17 pm
Inoui_Fou BRONZE, Stockton, California
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i feel its was pretty good and creative.
carrie124 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 13 2012 at 8:36 pm
carrie124 BRONZE, Ocala Florida, Florida
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believing is achieving

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i loved it it was awnsome but dont make some parts in rhyming seem almost predictable leave the reader hanging on every word and rhyme them with things only the wittiest could predict. your a great poet keep trying!!!
NickBottom SILVER said...
on Dec. 12 2012 at 9:56 pm
NickBottom SILVER, BURKE, Virginia
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This is really interesting. Is it supposed to be about your father limiting you?
EllieSwims BRONZE said...
on Dec. 10 2012 at 9:30 pm
EllieSwims BRONZE, Arlington, Massachusetts
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This poem connects to me on so many levels. My dad hates the idea of me becoming a writer.
Anna41 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 10 2012 at 3:01 pm
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Me too. It just drew me in.
FearlessAngel GOLD said...
on Dec. 10 2012 at 10:26 am
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Wow. I love that you tossed out the rules of grammar and made it seem more innocent. This is real poetry: imagry writing about emotion and mentality. Amazing = )
nakoLa PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 4 2012 at 10:07 pm
nakoLa PLATINUM, Springhill, Florida
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If you don't mind me asking, what inspired you to write this and when you did, did you have to rewrite it alot or was this pretty much your first draft? Also is this your favorite poem, or at least one of them? Did you think it was going to be so successfull? Im sorry...i ask a lot :)
WR1T3R GOLD said...
on Nov. 28 2012 at 7:02 pm
WR1T3R GOLD, Bloomfield, New Mexico
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Astounding!!! I had a glimpse of it and I had to continue reading.
ChobaniLuvinPenguin PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 1 2012 at 3:30 pm
ChobaniLuvinPenguin PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
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That was just amazing!!!!!! Such a beautiful poem! The rhythm helps it flow and really shapes the story. You're so good!!!! Keep writing!
joshua Curry BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2012 at 11:54 am
joshua Curry BRONZE, Plaquemine, Louisiana
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This is an incredible story
joshua Curry BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2012 at 11:54 am
joshua Curry BRONZE, Plaquemine, Louisiana
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This is a great story youre a good story teller
dotsonboy99 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2012 at 11:11 am
dotsonboy99 BRONZE, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
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loved the story .and loved the flow  
Spook BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2012 at 4:58 am
Spook BRONZE, Frome, Other
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Breathtaking writing. The images are clear, each line perfectly placed, and the rhythms thumping and echoing. Just as poetry should be. Made my day - thanks for sharing. :)
pinmaster95 GOLD said...
on Oct. 29 2012 at 11:01 pm
pinmaster95 GOLD, Colorado Springs, Colorado
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this was very uniqe and i enjoyed it.
Sarah Crowley BRONZE said...
on Oct. 22 2012 at 9:21 pm
Sarah Crowley BRONZE, Greenlawn, New York
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Really cool idea to work with, your words flowed so effortlessly
iimoeloveii GOLD said...
on Oct. 22 2012 at 5:58 am
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i love that poem