Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2183 comments.


on Jul. 24 2012 at 5:27 pm
WretchedCorpse SILVER, Belvidere, New Jersey
6 articles 9 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You will be the happiest of women. And we shall sing, all by ourselves, til we swoon with delight! You're crying! You're afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! All I wanted was to be loved for myself."

Nice work. The poem is great, as well as the story it tells.

lol99 said...
on Jul. 21 2012 at 9:51 am
Wow, just wow. This is one of the most beautiful poetic things I've ever read. You've got talent!

on Jul. 18 2012 at 11:33 pm
JessixMathers GOLD, Urbana, Illinois
10 articles 2 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
No matter where you run I'll be right there, right behind you, in your nightmares - Eminem <3

I love this. It has a very powerful message behind it. Or at least the way I read it, it did. Keep writing. You have talent.

EmiKanashii said...
on Jul. 18 2012 at 4:55 pm

You wrote a great poem! well, i guess it was already proven since it had been the most discussed and top voted poetry for months! :) CONGRATULATIONS on that. and i don't question it, really. i think your poem easily sends off a lot of images and feelings. I disagree to some, saying that the last few lines doesn't belong. I can see that those last lines are what made your whole poem perfect. it made the whole sense out of it.

but the "birdie" thing is quite laughable. you could've chosen other good rhymes without destructing the message of the poem.

 

but all in all, as what everybody says, you're poem astonished me! it was great and i'd love to see more from you! >:P

 

- :*


on Jul. 12 2012 at 7:07 pm
bintyousuf BRONZE, Fairfax, Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Wow. You've really got talent. This is amazing.

on Jul. 11 2012 at 1:10 pm
sunshine925 GOLD, Sugar Land, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
" You're only as tall as your heart will let you be and you're only as small as the world will make you seem." - Christofer Drew Ingle

so beautiffully written! good job :)

on Jul. 5 2012 at 2:22 pm
LongLazyDays55 BRONZE, Other, Other
3 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
I haven&#039;t failed. I just haven&#039;t found 10,000 ways that won&#039;t work. [Thomas Edison]<br /> <br /> When words fail, music speaks.

Amazing poem! You have so much talent. Keep writing!

loseig GOLD said...
on Jun. 28 2012 at 2:21 pm
loseig GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 1 photo 8 comments
You obviously have a talent in this writing, keep doing it!

LexxC SILVER said...
on Jun. 27 2012 at 1:58 pm
LexxC SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
7 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Move it or Lose it!

This is one of the most amazing pieces of work I have ever read on this site. I hope you continue to write, because you have a great talent and you should share it with the world.

on Jun. 23 2012 at 8:09 pm
albinotiger GOLD, Gloucester, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 186 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win&quot;- Stephen King<br /> &ldquo;In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate&rdquo;- Isaac Asimov

I LOVED YOUR WORK!! the way that you tell the story is great! :)

on Jun. 20 2012 at 8:09 pm
NinjaTurtle70.XD BRONZE, Braham, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
A house divided cannot stand<br /> By: Abraham Lincoln

It was amazing, although the part i was confused about was and i was bound, btu it was amzing truley, dont stop ur an amazin writer...

Shey22 SILVER said...
on Jun. 6 2012 at 6:24 am
Shey22 SILVER, St. Marys, Georgia
6 articles 4 photos 4 comments
I thought this poem was very well versed and did the ryhming just right :) keep doin what your doin, cuz ur amazing :)

on Jun. 5 2012 at 9:17 pm
Kenziemcm13 PLATINUM, Rutherfordton, North Carolina
36 articles 5 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
A simple story can tell an entire story!~~ ME<br /> Pictures tell a 1000 words~IDK :P

I liked it! Can you go check out some of my work I would be ever s grateful to hear what your opinions on them are! I would be honored for someone of your skill to read/rate comment on some of mine! :)

on Jun. 5 2012 at 11:57 am
LatinOthunduh BRONZE, Des Moines, Iowa
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What&#039;s normal anyways?&quot; -Mrs. Gump

Very nice. Good work! :D

on Jun. 5 2012 at 8:37 am
HinataHyuga SILVER, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
To never give up is my nindo, my ninja way. I can&#039;t run before taking my first step. A place to return to is were someone always thinks of you. Naruto-kun. Miso ramen. Back off kushina tomato Minato is mine! Kingmortha is my BFFFFF on teenink!

Its really nice. I loved it

Mia.T BRONZE said...
on Jun. 4 2012 at 4:31 pm
Mia.T BRONZE, Portland, Oregon
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Walk by faith, not by sight

I liked this poem a lot! Nice work. =]

on May. 31 2012 at 1:35 am
Kenziemcm13 PLATINUM, Rutherfordton, North Carolina
36 articles 5 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
A simple story can tell an entire story!~~ ME<br /> Pictures tell a 1000 words~IDK :P

Loved it! PLEASE GO READ SOME OF MINE I WOULD BE HONORED! :)

on May. 28 2012 at 2:25 pm
ignorance_is_bliss PLATINUM, Memphis, Tennessee
27 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;This is what it is, this is who I am<br /> This is where I finally take my stand<br /> I didn&#039;t wanna fall but I about to crawl<br /> I met the one with two scarred hands&quot;<br /> <br /> -Newsboys, Born Again

amazing!!!!

on May. 24 2012 at 1:32 pm
I wish that my father had a womb that big

on May. 21 2012 at 4:47 pm
sweetangel4life GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
19 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What&#039;s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet&quot;. Romeo and Juliet ( Quote Act II, Sc. II).<br /> <br /> &quot;Let them eat cake.&quot;<br /> Marie Antoinette

sooo awesome and wonderfully written. wanna see more of your work