Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2183 comments.


J1029 SILVER said...
on Apr. 30 2012 at 9:41 pm
J1029 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sing like no one is listening,<br /> Dance like no one is watching,<br /> Love like you&#039;ve never been hurt and<br /> Live like it&#039;s heaven on earth. <br /> <br /> - Mark Twain

I agree with DoraNguyen.  I loved the poem, but I didn't get the full meaning of the last couple lines. 

on Apr. 27 2012 at 9:49 am
taytaybergbower BRONZE, Wyoming, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
just do it~Taylor Berbower

very good. good detail

on Apr. 27 2012 at 9:41 am
DoraNguyen BRONZE, Grandville, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
This poem is very deep. But, I feel as though that the last lines didn't belong.

on Apr. 27 2012 at 5:49 am
XxsurrendertofatexX BRONZE, Palos Hills, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Every clothe has it&#039;s rips and it&#039;s tears, and no matter how hard we try to sew them back perfectly to the way it started out, that will never happen. But that&#039;s ok, even though it&#039;s gone, it was once there. And that&#039;s what matters.&quot; - Jacqueline Kay

i reallly liked it! i thought that the last couple of lines were where most of the meaning of the poem took place. great job! c:

on Apr. 20 2012 at 5:39 pm
ElvenSecrets17 BRONZE, Yorkville, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
All that is gold does not glitter, <br /> Not all those who wander are lost; <br /> The old that is strong does not wither, <br /> Deep roots are not reached by the frost. <br /> ~J.R.R. Tolkien

Very beautiful, I wish my poetry could sound as powerful as yours:)

on Apr. 20 2012 at 12:46 am
MysteriousWounds GOLD, Staten Island, New York
13 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don&#039;t matter and those who matter don&#039;t mind.~

it started off really good...but the last stanza confused me. i feel like the last two lines didn't really belong there :/

on Apr. 18 2012 at 1:44 pm
tdpackerfan BRONZE, Scottsdale, Arizona
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments
"gazed at the birdie" . . . really? I think that this poem is highly overrated. I thought that the rhyme-scheme was desperate and half-hashed. The twist at the end was nice, but ultimately the reader has no way to trust the narrator. First of all, he disobeys his father directly by going into the water, so when the father finally holds him back, I feel like the father is saving the narrator instead of holding him back or restricting him. The title is interesting and paradoxical, but for goodness' sake, if you have the ability to think of profundity such as this, finding rushed rhymes and thrown-in words like "birdie" make this feel like a wasted opportunity to write something great.

on Apr. 18 2012 at 1:26 pm
logo1234 BRONZE, Scottsdale, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
I really liked how you capitalized some words and not others. I could really visualize a picture in my mind when reading this poem. I also like how you show the relationship between father and son. Does the father symbolize all the things that hold him back?

on Apr. 12 2012 at 1:13 pm
Lexilou96 BRONZE, Pekin, Indiana
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
No love left to Give.

Love this poem! :) its beautiful and I kind of wish there was more.

on Apr. 10 2012 at 2:58 pm
CollinsK BRONZE, Manteno, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Never let anyone make you feel inferior without your consent.&quot; -Eleanor Roosevelt

I genuinely love this poem, and have so much respect for you for being able to write it. I connect to it.. Also, I like how you played with the capitalization.  It's very e.e. cummings-esque. 

on Apr. 9 2012 at 1:42 pm
sweetgirl70 BRONZE, Pelzer, South Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
a women is like a rose if u love her right she will bloom

yea kinda cool love the words that you used

on Apr. 8 2012 at 10:05 am
Gildedlily123 BRONZE, Vestavia Hills, Alabama
2 articles 2 photos 1 comment
A probing look at the delicate relationship between parent and child; this poem has a surprising maturity that I enjoyed

Clg1688 said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 2:00 pm
Clg1688, Tucson, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments

To my interpretation of this poem, it makes me think of parents over their children.

Love it!


ReneeB SILVER said...
on Apr. 4 2012 at 1:47 pm
ReneeB SILVER, Milford, Michigan
9 articles 2 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.&quot; <br /> ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

I really love this poem. It easily paints a picture that the reader can visualize.
To me, this poem shows the smothering nature of parents, how they try to keep their children safe, despite how much their children want to get out and test the world on their own. Is this what you were going for?

on Apr. 2 2012 at 7:10 pm
WhereAmIWithinMyself BRONZE, Reading, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I know myself... but that is all!&quot; -F. Scott Fitzgerald in &quot;This Side of Paradise&quot;<br /> &quot;A poet looks at the world the way a man looks at a woman.&quot; -Wallace Stevens

A great bildungsroman poem.

Also, if you want to help me answer the question "Where am I within myself - in my heart, my soul, or my mind?", check out my poetry pleasee. :)


Banana said...
on Apr. 2 2012 at 12:04 pm
Kachow!!!!

on Mar. 30 2012 at 4:29 pm
that waz a good poem.thanks it helps me out with my listening skills with my daddy xd

on Mar. 30 2012 at 12:25 pm
Krystie1250 BRONZE, Neosho, Missouri
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act. <br /> Anatole France (1844 - 1924)<br /> Creativity is the residue of wasted time.<br /> Einstien<br /> You can&#039;t fly when something is holding you down.<br /> (I&#039;m not sure who said this first)

Wow.  That was really good.  Thank you for writing, and please keep doing so.

on Mar. 30 2012 at 12:21 pm
dragonfly95 SILVER, Argaon, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;&#039; there is nothing to fear but fear its self&#039;&#039;

i love it!this is so beautiful, it choked me up, check out my own work please!

leshaye said...
on Mar. 29 2012 at 2:42 pm
leshaye, Indana, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

this is nice