Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2183 comments.


on Sep. 25 2011 at 12:34 pm
bpjrobert SILVER, Wakefield, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Veni Vidi Vici"-Julius Caesar

 

I like it. Favorite Quote- "Then I knew that I was bound"


on Sep. 24 2011 at 2:53 pm
hearmyvoice BRONZE, Trumbull, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Its hard to get framed if you're not in the picture.

i like the story but some of the rhyming seemed forced. the overall theme was great though so good job

BeingAnna GOLD said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 10:36 pm
BeingAnna GOLD, Montreal, Other
13 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is beauty<br /> -Marilyn Monroe

And you are welcome :) You have an amzing talent and I cannot get over how beautiful this is. String emotions must have been felt to write something so powerful. Never stop writting.

BeingAnna GOLD said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 10:29 pm
BeingAnna GOLD, Montreal, Other
13 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imperfection is beauty<br /> -Marilyn Monroe

I completely agree! Thanks for understanding.

on Sep. 23 2011 at 7:37 pm
Smiley1068 SILVER, Capitola, California
5 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don&#039;t let anyone control you

All I can say is wow!

Old-Ham SILVER said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 5:56 pm
Old-Ham SILVER, Braidwood, Illinois
6 articles 1 photo 2 comments
so.beautiful.

on Sep. 23 2011 at 5:55 am
thegirlwiththemessyhair, Singapore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i think it means that the dad is too overprotective and while he won't let the son fall, he won't let him fly either.

Mrs.parez said...
on Sep. 22 2011 at 1:15 pm

this is a lovely poem

 


gonzalo said...
on Sep. 16 2011 at 2:33 pm
I liked the poem because it tells us the importance of the fathers to protect us.

TevoRocks said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 5:44 pm
i really like the story is it true?

on Sep. 14 2011 at 5:43 pm
She_King14 BRONZE, Aurora, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
Well, it's not that the dad was mean, the point of the story is that the dad didn't wan;t his kid to leave him.

on Sep. 14 2011 at 12:20 pm
Sow did the kid drown

crazycatlady said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 9:40 am
The dad sounds really mean. But the whole poem was really good.

smile123 said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 7:27 am
i loved it i understand what u meant when u said then i knew that i was bound.

on Sep. 13 2011 at 3:51 pm
i love it but how does that make you bound?

on Sep. 12 2011 at 5:45 pm
mariarosamarinelli BRONZE, Henrico, VA, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
Ooh, chilling. I loved it.

Brin11 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 12 2011 at 4:07 pm
Brin11 BRONZE, Gilmer, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 18 comments
But scene's also contribute and I can't picture this. He starts out walking toward the water and ends up on stone.....it was just a little confusing while I read it.

on Sep. 11 2011 at 4:02 pm
alohagirl7 GOLD, Klawock, Alaska
14 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;no guy is worth your tears but the one who is wont make u cry&quot;<br /> &quot;your just a guy, nothing more and nothing less&quot;

what was your idea behind this poem? what made you want to write it?

bb42495 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 10:19 pm
bb42495 BRONZE, New Orleans, Louisiana
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
\&quot;Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.\&quot; -Ralph Waldo Emerson

i loved the idea behind this poem and the overall rhythm...my only ssuggestion is to change the word birdie, although i know that would present some difficulty for you with reconstruction and rhythm. you did quite well with this piece. i love the idea of a father holding back his own son. you put it into words very well. you have talent.

if you have time check out my poems. i would love your feedback


SHUTTERBUG said...
on Sep. 9 2011 at 9:54 pm
I LUVVED IT IT WAS spectacular and the best part was that he thought he could prove his dad wrong but after a couple times still didnt quit witch i wouldnt have the courage to do any of that