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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2183 comments.

bpjrobert SILVER said...
on Sep. 25 2011 at 12:34 pm
bpjrobert SILVER, Wakefield, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 35 comments

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&quot;Veni Vidi Vici&quot;-Julius Caesar

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I like it. Favorite Quote- "Then I knew that I was bound"

hearmyvoice BRONZE said...
on Sep. 24 2011 at 2:53 pm
hearmyvoice BRONZE, Trumbull, Connecticut
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i like the story but some of the rhyming seemed forced. the overall theme was great though so good job
BeingAnna GOLD said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 10:36 pm
BeingAnna GOLD, Montreal, Other
13 articles 0 photos 24 comments

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Imperfection is beauty<br /> -Marilyn Monroe

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And you are welcome :) You have an amzing talent and I cannot get over how beautiful this is. String emotions must have been felt to write something so powerful. Never stop writting.
BeingAnna GOLD said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 10:29 pm
BeingAnna GOLD, Montreal, Other
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I completely agree! Thanks for understanding.
Smiley1068 SILVER said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 7:37 pm
Smiley1068 SILVER, Capitola, California
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All I can say is wow!
Old-Ham SILVER said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 5:56 pm
Old-Ham SILVER, Braidwood, Illinois
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so.beautiful.
thegirlwiththemessyhair said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 5:55 am
thegirlwiththemessyhair, Singapore, Other
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i think it means that the dad is too overprotective and while he won't let the son fall, he won't let him fly either.
Mrs.parez said...
on Sep. 22 2011 at 1:15 pm

this is a lovely poem

 

gonzalo said...
on Sep. 16 2011 at 2:33 pm
I liked the poem because it tells us the importance of the fathers to protect us.
TevoRocks said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 5:44 pm
i really like the story is it true?
She_King14 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 5:43 pm
She_King14 BRONZE, Aurora, Colorado
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Well, it's not that the dad was mean, the point of the story is that the dad didn't wan;t his kid to leave him.
Hair & bertha said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 12:20 pm
Sow did the kid drown
crazycatlady said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 9:40 am
The dad sounds really mean. But the whole poem was really good.
smile123 said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 7:27 am
i loved it i understand what u meant when u said then i knew that i was bound.
purplemonkeys999 said...
on Sep. 13 2011 at 3:51 pm
i love it but how does that make you bound?
mariarosamarinelli BRONZE said...
on Sep. 12 2011 at 5:45 pm
mariarosamarinelli BRONZE, Henrico, VA, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
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Ooh, chilling. I loved it.
Brin11 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 12 2011 at 4:07 pm
Brin11 BRONZE, Gilmer, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 18 comments
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But scene's also contribute and I can't picture this. He starts out walking toward the water and ends up on stone.....it was just a little confusing while I read it.
alohagirl7 GOLD said...
on Sep. 11 2011 at 4:02 pm
alohagirl7 GOLD, Klawock, Alaska
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what was your idea behind this poem? what made you want to write it?
bb42495 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 10:19 pm
bb42495 BRONZE, New Orleans, Louisiana
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i loved the idea behind this poem and the overall rhythm...my only ssuggestion is to change the word birdie, although i know that would present some difficulty for you with reconstruction and rhythm. you did quite well with this piece. i love the idea of a father holding back his own son. you put it into words very well. you have talent.

if you have time check out my poems. i would love your feedback

SHUTTERBUG said...
on Sep. 9 2011 at 9:54 pm
I LUVVED IT IT WAS spectacular and the best part was that he thought he could prove his dad wrong but after a couple times still didnt quit witch i wouldnt have the courage to do any of that