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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2183 comments.

ral97 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 9:46 am
ral97 BRONZE, Audubon, Iowa
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Wow this is AMAZING!! I love it. It really makes you think about it.
chris0911 said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 8:28 am
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check out old dusty flag
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 4 2011 at 7:10 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
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hmm good point. but maybe he did know what he was doing and was a little to over protective? could that be it???
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on Nov. 3 2011 at 7:06 pm
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I think that in the father's mind, he was keeping the son safe from falling, but in reality, he was keeping him prisoner and didn't realize.
HoldingFast GOLD said...
on Nov. 3 2011 at 4:02 pm
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Just to be honest guys, this is like my fave poem i've read on here. its amazing (: love it lots
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 8:02 pm
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
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yea I was also wondering wether if the father was trying to keep prisoner..well either way this is very good.
Emmy88 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 6:31 pm
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He is trying to keep hime safe by keeping him chained letting him go thn tying him back

 

live.laff.love said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 6:05 pm
this is verry intrestin..it makes me ponder
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Great piece. 
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How many times is this being posted????
TaurusGal GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 11:42 pm
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Simply amazing!!!!!!!!
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on Oct. 28 2011 at 9:46 pm
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I think it's really good. I like the line about the birdie, I don't see why people don't. It kinda leads into what you're saying about wanting to fly. Could you read my work and tell me what you think? ;)
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 7:23 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
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I'm kind of lost on the fact if 'father' is trying to keep you safe or trying to keep you prisoner. It depends on how you interpret the poem, but I wanted to hear it from the author! Great work! Your poem really evokes thought.
Gingersnap777 said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 3:04 pm
Interesting, and very rhythmic--it had a nice flow to it.  Great work!
Crystalkendra SILVER said...
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I like it very vivide I liked the end it had a double meaning I loved it thank you for putting it up so I could read it!
PaulMental GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 11:36 am
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The end has such a great "a-ha!" moment!
MarieLouiseA SILVER said...
on Oct. 24 2011 at 10:58 am
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This is a great piece of work. (: If anyone could read some of my work and give me some feedback i'd really appriciate it, im new to this (:
KatyPie97 GOLD said...
on Oct. 23 2011 at 9:04 pm
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You started off very strong, and it could have been amazing! But I felt as if you rushed into the end, trying too hard to finish. It is a great poem, still; just take your time and let the words flow:)
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I know when I write this it's going to be redundant, because everyone already wrote it, but it really leaves me thinking!

The part of the chain, it made me think of the title itself, Daddy's Womb. But why?

JamesODalaigh BRONZE said...
on Oct. 23 2011 at 7:46 am
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Simply brilliant! Please never stop.