Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2183 comments.


on Mar. 28 2011 at 7:59 am
jlshipleys GOLD, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
11 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Only in the end looking back will we see all.

Very good poem.... the sense of rhythm and visualization is amazing.... great work!

Dark_Mind GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2011 at 11:00 pm
Dark_Mind GOLD, Little Rock, Arkansas
11 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sounds like a Personal Problem."

Loved it alot.! Really good meaning.!

secrets said...
on Mar. 26 2011 at 9:31 pm
i like the piont that u were gettin @. parent can be over powerin and not positiva and unsuportive of us but we still try. Your poem is great and u have alot of talent keep writin.

gfigs SILVER said...
on Mar. 25 2011 at 6:32 pm
gfigs SILVER, Elyria, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
LETS DO IT!!!!!!!!!

This is like really good :D you have good tallent

naysia SILVER said...
on Mar. 24 2011 at 12:50 pm
naysia SILVER, Bossier, Louisiana
5 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
its my life nd im livin it

very good i love it can somone comment on mine

 


on Mar. 23 2011 at 5:32 pm
C.Michelle1295 SILVER, Denton, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I don&#039;t mind living in a man&#039;s world as long as I can be a woman in it&quot; -Marylin Monroe<br /> &quot;I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me&quot; - phillipians 4:13

I love it. It makes me think and its bold enough to have different meanings. Good job!(;

on Mar. 23 2011 at 3:19 pm
NicoletteMarshall, Selden, New York
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
I like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve.

Wow, great job!

on Mar. 22 2011 at 9:06 pm
Anasunny SILVER, Florissant, Missouri
5 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die.<br /> ~ Charge of the Light Brigade, Alfred Lord Tennyson

This poem's message was interesting and pretty, however, I don't think it flowed as well as it might have.  Overall though, good job!

on Mar. 22 2011 at 3:31 pm
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.&quot; - MLK Jr.

They meant that their father was holding them down from flying... a.k.a. holding them back from achieving their dreams. :)

on Mar. 22 2011 at 2:18 pm
callie15 BRONZE, North Plains, Oregon
3 articles 21 photos 424 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?&quot;<br /> -Chuang Tzu<br /> <br /> &quot;No man with a good car needs to be justified!&quot;<br /> -Wise Blood

there's a reason why this is one of the most popular poems on this website. this poem is...perfect (nothing is perfect, but you know what i mean) fantastic job! brava!

on Mar. 22 2011 at 12:08 pm
I love this poem! It made me really appreciate the freedom my father gave me. I felt empathy with the boy, and drawing emotional response is the purpose of a good poem. Well done and thank you :)

AmilieAmleya said...
on Mar. 22 2011 at 8:53 am
I totally agree with Blueticky it is pretty amazing I LOVED IT! but i cant think about wombs

BLUETICKY said...
on Mar. 22 2011 at 8:49 am
i really liked it but thought it was confusing but it was amazin

jill said...
on Mar. 22 2011 at 8:44 am
this poem is really pretty

Cityboy13 said...
on Mar. 22 2011 at 8:23 am
Cityboy13, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
IE: Fred Fredburger Reply: The poem is about how the father was always holding him back, preventing the boy from "flying", this was made clear in the last two lines: I saw my Father pull on a chain, then I knew that I was bound

on Mar. 21 2011 at 11:15 am
i think that the poem was CONFUZZLING it made no sense whatsoever sorry whoever the author is but i don't get it.   I LIKE NACHOS!! YES:)

on Mar. 21 2011 at 6:17 am
likeitmatters SILVER, New York, New York
6 articles 0 photos 26 comments
One thing though, I think you should chnge the line "gazed at the birdie" to "gazed upon the birdie." The added syllable makes it flow perfectly.

on Mar. 21 2011 at 6:14 am
likeitmatters SILVER, New York, New York
6 articles 0 photos 26 comments
This poem really means something to me. I think it's magnificently honest and beautiful.

AVERAGE BRONZE said...
on Mar. 14 2011 at 1:57 pm
AVERAGE BRONZE, Rosehill, Virginia
3 articles 0 photos 48 comments
Please check out my work=) greatly appreciated =). . . .LOVED IT! which i think i've already told you haha =P

MSTie said...
on Mar. 14 2011 at 10:51 am
It was a very well-constructed poem. It was very thought provoking.