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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 2183 comments.
teenpoet8 said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 7:51 pm
Bubblybubbles223 hey listen, i know youre entitled to your opinion and all, but this is a site for constructive criticism, not cruelty. . i feel bad for the author of this poem because they do not deserve to put up with what you think is just a harmless opinion.
the.beast said...
on Feb. 24 2011 at 4:38 pm
i never had a dad........i want one like this one!
Bakerstudent13 said...
on Feb. 23 2011 at 2:41 pm
That was really good! I wish i had a dad who was cool like yours....?
Annie said...
on Feb. 22 2011 at 8:07 am
The comments here are supposed to be on this poem, not to advertise your own work. Also, when I did a search for your screename, you don't even have any work on this website, unless it's anonymous; anyway, my point being-this is not the place to advertise your work.
ski_mayday BRONZE said...
on Feb. 20 2011 at 7:10 pm
I guess I would like to know what the other was thinking when they wrote it because I can't figure it out.
evergreen232 said...
on Feb. 19 2011 at 7:46 pm
Wow. this is a gr8 poem!! keep it up!!! :)
evergreen232 said...
on Feb. 19 2011 at 7:44 pm
i agree with ya searbear180. i love the poem a lot!
KassidyLeigh GOLD said...
on Feb. 18 2011 at 8:41 pm
love how you can almost picture a story in your head of what is being played out! It really is amazing!
Please check out my poem too! TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/295514/You-Are-My-Ocean/
preteen11 said...
on Feb. 18 2011 at 8:35 pm
i love your oem daddys womb free verse because it gives me good pleasure and i am visualizing a picture so thanks for that! any comments and questions for me??
searbear180 said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 8:52 pm
No i dont think so. Remember, he said the line about the sea? but maybe...thats a really good poem though
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 7:12 pm
My point exactly. And I am going to discontinue this conversation after this comment, as it is going absolutely nowhere. One last thing: I wish you'd stop saying I'm trying to change your opinion! I am not doing that. I'm sharing mine. There is no opinion involved in this conversation anymore. This is just two people trying to make the other person look bad. So I apologize if that's how you perceived my words as. Goodbye, then.
Popcorngirl BRONZE said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 1:26 pm
It made perfect sense to me... I dunno what you guys are spouting
Bubblybubbles223 PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 1:18 pm
I agree. its a pretty good poem but i wish the top voted poem was one that made more sense.
Bubblybubbles223 PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 1:17 pm
well just letting you know. I never said our views are different and i never said you couldnt have your opinion so stop making me seem like the antagonist when all i did was share my opinion. Not all feedback IS polite, thats the entire point. So do not try to change my opinion because i never did the sort to you. So stop its just an opinion.
MusicBunny4595.7 SILVER said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 12:16 pm
I don'tget it, I mean it makes sense, but it doesn't really have much point.
