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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2183 comments.
aaron13 said...
on Dec. 14 2011 at 10:06 am
thats a very touching poem
subliminal96 GOLD said...
on Dec. 11 2011 at 4:25 pm
Love this- I can feel the chain tightening as I type
NohaBooyan BRONZE said...
on Dec. 11 2011 at 12:50 am
amazingly worded :)
KatieAtkinson said...
on Dec. 8 2011 at 7:08 pm
Well, I really like this. There is a point and I get it. Everyone interprets poems differently, however. For me, this piece is saying that the father keeps putting the son down, pulling him back when the son becomes to eager or hopeful, which explains the chain. This was executed very nicely. Good job.
DooRonRon said...
on Dec. 8 2011 at 11:18 am
I am sure that the author knows that men don't have wombs, hence the reason his mother birthed him and not the father. I am quite confused though; on the reason why you are sounding so arrogant towards his work? Maybe this poem "hit home" for you. All in all; don't judge someone based on their experiences and intake on certain things.
unsimplysara BRONZE said...
on Dec. 7 2011 at 5:25 pm
I know he had a purpose for his title and his poem doesn't 'suck' at all. It's great and it would be really appreciated if you could give constructive criticism vs. Being rude.
kyrie2015 said...
on Dec. 7 2011 at 1:15 pm
well duh you cant fly.!
VivaciousVirgoVixen SILVER said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:27 am
Its a very heart-touching piece of work... I love it! <3
butterfly123 said...
on Dec. 4 2011 at 8:55 am
wow! this is really good! but i did not get the last para
babyraccoon BRONZE said...
on Dec. 2 2011 at 3:06 pm
hey i really like this and its reallt thoughtful :)
EternallyMe03 SILVER said...
on Dec. 2 2011 at 8:50 am
This is an amazing poem, however you wish to read it. You created a beautiful way to get your message across!
WhiteWings GOLD said...
on Dec. 1 2011 at 6:22 pm
i didnt quite get the chaine point...was he trying to hurt you? but over all it was ok
ManekiNeko SILVER said...
on Dec. 1 2011 at 12:31 pm
I love this poem. It has a great flow and I like the story. Rhyming is always hard and you did it very weel. It is clean and simple which allows the meaning of the words to shine.
byebye said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 6:56 pm
Sorry, I should have said this already.. but I really need some critiques on my work, and I'd love it if some others could read them and comment :)
byebye said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 6:55 pm
I love this. I really do. I had to read it a couple times through to really absorb it, and once I did I was thoroughly impressed. To be a little more "short and sweet" (you guessed it - my weakness!) this was beautiful. I hope one day my poetry will be this great!
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