Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2183 comments.


on Dec. 15 2011 at 8:28 pm
A_Voice_Made_to_Be_Heard, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me. (Philippians 4:13)

This was so touching. I love how you conveyed a serious message with a hopeful sounding and slightly upbeat voice. There's a naturall flow to the words too.

aaron13 said...
on Dec. 14 2011 at 10:06 am
thats a very touching poem

on Dec. 13 2011 at 8:03 pm
Leyna1997 BRONZE, Crystal, Minnesota
3 articles 3 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
And I&#039;ll write you poetry,<br /> with the prettiest words that you ever did read,<br /> no i never write like that.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -Sick of Sarah

Well I clicked on your link and tried to see your stuff but couldn't. and im not trying to make a fight I'm just stating facts.

on Dec. 11 2011 at 6:45 pm
otherpoet SILVER, Wayland, Massachusetts
6 articles 9 photos 254 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.&quot; - Audrey Hepburn

I think this poem is wonderful. I agree with KatieAtkinson's interpretation. Your poem had a very serious meaning, but as i read it i felt the tempo was rather up-beat

on Dec. 11 2011 at 4:25 pm
subliminal96 GOLD, Kent, Ohio
10 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I have no nation to fight for... my country is the earth and I am a citizen of the world.&quot;

Love this- I can feel the chain tightening as I type

on Dec. 11 2011 at 12:50 am
NohaBooyan BRONZE, New York, New York
4 articles 3 photos 27 comments
amazingly worded :)

on Dec. 8 2011 at 7:08 pm
KatieAtkinson, McDonough, Georgia
0 articles 1 photo 1 comment
Well, I really like this.  There is a point and I get it.  Everyone interprets poems differently, however.  For me, this piece is saying that the father keeps putting the son down, pulling him back when the son becomes to eager or hopeful, which explains the chain.  This was executed very nicely.  Good job.

on Dec. 8 2011 at 2:59 pm
FK092495 SILVER, Crystal River, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
God could not be everywhere, therefore he created mothers.

This is a really good artical... it's really touching to me... it kinda speaks to me... :) i love it!!!

DooRonRon said...
on Dec. 8 2011 at 11:18 am
I am sure that the author knows that men don't have wombs, hence the reason his mother birthed him and not the father. I am quite confused though; on the reason why you are sounding so arrogant towards his work? Maybe this poem "hit home" for you. All in all; don't judge someone based on their experiences and intake on certain things.

on Dec. 7 2011 at 5:25 pm
unsimplysara BRONZE, Burbank, California
1 article 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.&quot; --Psalm 37:4

I know he had a purpose for his title and his poem doesn't 'suck' at all. It's great and it would be really appreciated if you could give constructive criticism vs. Being rude.

kyrie2015 said...
on Dec. 7 2011 at 1:15 pm
kyrie2015, Paris, Tennessee
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
well duh you cant fly.!

on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:27 am
VivaciousVirgoVixen SILVER, Surat, Other
5 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don&#039;t get mad when a woman cares too much, worry when she stops giving a damn.

Its a very heart-touching piece of work... I love it! <3

butterfly123 said...
on Dec. 4 2011 at 8:55 am
butterfly123, Banglore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 408 comments
wow! this is really good! but i did not get the last para

on Dec. 2 2011 at 3:06 pm
babyraccoon BRONZE, Portland, Oregon
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
when you love something let him free and if it true love he will come back for you

hey i really like this and its reallt thoughtful :)

Proof SILVER said...
on Dec. 2 2011 at 12:59 pm
Proof SILVER, Silver Spring, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
The world is yours you just have to take it

aaliyah i agree and dnt make fun of someone who wnts to xpress themselves maybe u should try poetry to open ur closed mind up

on Dec. 2 2011 at 8:50 am
EternallyMe03 SILVER, BIRMINGHAM, Alabama
6 articles 0 photos 12 comments
This is an amazing poem, however you wish to read it.  You created a beautiful way to get your message across!

on Dec. 1 2011 at 6:22 pm
WhiteWings GOLD, Houston, Texas
14 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing lasts forever on this Earth. Smile

i didnt quite get the chaine point...was he trying to hurt you? but over all it was ok

on Dec. 1 2011 at 12:31 pm
ManekiNeko SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
8 articles 1 photo 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and prove it to be true.&quot;

I love this poem. It has a great flow and I like the story. Rhyming is always hard and you did it very weel. It is clean and simple which allows the meaning of the words to shine.

byebye said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 6:56 pm
byebye, Nevermore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 250 comments
Sorry, I should have said this already.. but I really need some critiques on my work, and I'd love it if some others could read them and comment :)

byebye said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 6:55 pm
byebye, Nevermore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 250 comments
I love this. I really do. I had to read it a couple times through to really absorb it, and once I did I was thoroughly impressed. To be a little more "short and sweet" (you guessed it - my weakness!) this was beautiful. I hope one day my poetry will be this great!