Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2183 comments.


JSchwartz GOLD said...
on Dec. 3 2010 at 9:11 pm
JSchwartz GOLD, Gainesville, Florida
13 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
The problem isn't always the 1%, but the 99% who fight each other to be the 1%.

very interesting, love the poem. Kinda weird for a boy to write poetry, but i'm a boy who likes poetry also so keep it up.

on Dec. 2 2010 at 8:10 pm
Truelyy44 BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't start nuthin won't be nuthin."-Fam quote

That was lik past amazing !!

on Dec. 2 2010 at 5:54 pm
Monkee63 SILVER, Independence, Kentucky
9 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I want to feel my life while I&#039;m in it&quot;- Meryl Streep<br /> &quot;Live, Life Love&quot;<br /> &quot;Everybody wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you can&#039;t have a rainbow without a little rain.&quot;

Wow. I really really liked that I love the way that the words just simply flow together.

Jacob44 said...
on Dec. 2 2010 at 4:58 pm
hmmm... interesting. I like the wording, very articulate.

on Dec. 2 2010 at 4:32 pm
extremelymodest5 BRONZE, Califon, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
awesome poem! very original!

Duckie430 said...
on Dec. 2 2010 at 12:39 pm
Duckie430, Riverside, Rhode Island
0 articles 0 photos 228 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;The secret to life is being who you are and being happy with who you are.&rdquo;<br /> &quot;Whatever does not kill you only makes you stronger.&quot;

i agree! i thought i was the only one...there's alot of amazing poetry on this site, but this poem just doesn't hold as much emotion & talent as others, yet it is the most recognized. not that this poem is bad...but i just don't see what is very original or creative about it.

on Dec. 1 2010 at 6:51 pm
AlexisRivera015, Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you&rsquo;re alive, it isn&rsquo;t.

wow amazing

this is just wow

lol i love it

check out my writing

cuz u seem like u have experice here

:)


tylerz GOLD said...
on Dec. 1 2010 at 11:11 am
tylerz GOLD, Cheyenne Wells, Colorado
19 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is to short to not share it with another person.

Beautiful I loved every bit of it

on Nov. 30 2010 at 11:04 pm
AliMallie BRONZE, Westminster, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control and at times, hard to handle, but if you can&#039;t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don&#039;t deserve me at my best.&quot; -Marilyn Monroe

I was enthralled by the utter unique aspect of this poem. Thank you for sharing this!

on Nov. 30 2010 at 8:21 pm
cmCampbell SILVER, Cedar Grove, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Every minute you spend angry is 60 seconds you lose of happiness!&quot;

So I absolutely loved this! Usually I get distracted in the middle of reading and don't read until the very end, but I read this to the very end without even giving it a second though! phenominal! really!

on Nov. 30 2010 at 7:23 pm
Xeneron00 BRONZE, McDonough, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I will make a difference in this world, you will not strangle me.&quot;

The last four lines gave me chills throughout my entire body.

on Nov. 30 2010 at 5:05 pm
Mayzie2010 BRONZE, East Syracuse, New York
1 article 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t tell me &quot;the sky is the limit&quot; when their are footprints and a flag and the moon&quot;<br /> -Anonymus

WriterFighter,

Stories don't always necessarily need to explain everything in words. Sometimes the author wants us to read between the lines to get the true message of the literature. The author did not write this poem to show us that kids' lives are constantly ruined by parents. But to give us a hint that we ned to read between the lines to actually understand this poem.

~Mayzie2010


on Nov. 29 2010 at 6:34 pm
rachelchace DIAMOND, Stratford, Connecticut
65 articles 9 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If everyone were perfect, Individuality would be extinct.&quot; -Rachel Chace (me)

very unique, i love the imagery and descriptions!

on Nov. 29 2010 at 4:24 pm
WriterFighter PLATINUM, Wilsonville, Other
32 articles 3 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
*Women and men are very different, but not when it comes down to their heart

Dear Mayzie2010, I understand how you think the parent is loving, but where do we see the love? If the writter wanted to show how it wasn't controlling, more then loving, then were do we see it? We don't that's the truth. If the author wanted to show that it was love that pushed him to say no to his child, it wasn't expressed to us.

zippy123 said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 3:34 pm
i dont gett it....help?

i♥poetry!! said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 2:52 pm
i like it its really Good:D keep it up(:

on Nov. 29 2010 at 12:45 am
I don't see why this has the highest score or why it got published. I mean, I like the idea but it wasn't executed very well. The vocab is lacking and the lines are so uneven. Could've been better.

on Nov. 28 2010 at 2:44 pm
Mayzie2010 BRONZE, East Syracuse, New York
1 article 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t tell me &quot;the sky is the limit&quot; when their are footprints and a flag and the moon&quot;<br /> -Anonymus

WriterFighter

You're right...to a degree. The father in this poem is not really controlling. He's displaying how much he loves his son by telling him he can't do something because he doesn't want to see his son get hurt. Think about that.


on Nov. 24 2010 at 4:53 pm
WriterFighter PLATINUM, Wilsonville, Other
32 articles 3 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
*Women and men are very different, but not when it comes down to their heart

Mayzie2010

I agree with the fact that a childs imagination can run wild sometimes, remember, we were all a child at one point! But you are still not explaining the controling parent issue! The child has this imagination but when he questions his dad on the matter, he tells him no. A controling parent! Aren't I right?

 


on Nov. 24 2010 at 4:05 pm
jh6-4ever SILVER, Cornish Flat, New Hampshire
5 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Today is a gift. That&#039;s why we call it the present. :)

This is gorgeous. Very meaningful and touching. Thanks for sharing!