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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2183 comments.
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE said...
on Feb. 12 2011 at 1:10 pm
To The.Lost.One: That was the kindest comment I've ever read. You should read some of the comments on this poem, actually. There are some pretty nasty people on this website.
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE said...
on Feb. 12 2011 at 1:08 pm
Why say thank you if you've just insulted someone's piece? How does that make sense? It certainly doesn't make up for your lack of politeness in your other part of the comment!
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE said...
on Feb. 12 2011 at 1:07 pm
Okay, you said that you have read a lot of amazing poetry on this site, yet you cannot name any? I never said I don't get this poem... I understand it perfectly well. This poem made me think, and I showed it to my best friend's mother, who is a college professor, and it made her think as well. You do indeed have to read between the lines to understand this poem. Most kids absolutely do not feel this way about their parents. Most kids have a good relationship with their parents. I know nobody who feels held back by their parents, but I do know that some people feel held back. But this is certainly an original idea... After all, I have seen no other poems like it. One other thing: You have no idea how old this person is. If it's a 13 year old, then maybe its not original because most teens feel this way. But what if it is an 18 year old about to go off to college? And they still don't have any freedom? This is a very symbolic poem that really makes me feel bad for this person. You obviously have no compassion for them or anyone in this situation.
Wow, a lot of comments. Pretty much all positive. I like the poem... It's different, it took some time to figure out, but in the end it was confusing, yet intriguing. Oh, and I don't think there any other 'wayyyy better' pieces then this. It's pretty good.
Bubblybubbles223 PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 10 2011 at 1:16 pm
this is kinda dumb, not trying to be mean but there are other pieces wayyyy better and this shouldnt be #1. Thank you.
Duckie430 said...
on Feb. 10 2011 at 10:25 am
I haven't read any other poems on this site on this particular subject; but what I have read I feel that this poem pales in comparison. I don't get why people say that they don't "get" this poem, it is absolutely clear what the author is saying. Poetry is supposed to make you think, not tell you in black and white. & most kids feel this way about their parents holding them back, it's not a new or original idea; & the author didn't use this idea in a creative way to write this poem.
Duckie430 said...
on Feb. 10 2011 at 10:20 am
People can give their constructive criticism if they want; honestly this poem isn't the greatest that I have read & I have voiced my opinion about it as others have also done.
CassidyMarturana BRONZE said...
on Feb. 10 2011 at 8:15 am
This is AMAZING!!!! I love it and I understand what you mean!
consumedbygrace247 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 9 2011 at 6:45 pm
Wow, thats... great! It took me a second read to get what I can only interpret as what I think it could mean. Its amazing just, creative. Way to go :)
RedRosePoet GOLD said...
on Feb. 8 2011 at 4:37 pm
very deep (: will you read mine called We were just Friends? (:
Nooneimportant2u said...
on Feb. 8 2011 at 6:51 am
I think this poem is really wonderful , your very indepth and that is a unique quality in peaple today.
ski_mayday BRONZE said...
on Feb. 7 2011 at 7:35 am
This is a beautiful poem, but I don't understand the meaning. Could someone please explain?
PassionHoldsMySoul BRONZE said...
on Feb. 6 2011 at 10:45 pm
This is the most impressive comment I've ever read. I'm sure this did not go unappreciated.
DancingDimples95 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 6 2011 at 4:27 pm
really wonderful! this poem is very impressive! strong work! keep writing!
DD95
slipknot mick abeast said...
on Feb. 3 2011 at 10:46 am
this is poem is reall real reall good
13matthewwilliams BRONZE said...
on Feb. 2 2011 at 9:49 am
pretty good
sarahconway GOLD said...
on Jan. 31 2011 at 5:51 pm
Very cool!
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