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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2183 comments.

krissynicole BRONZE said...
on Sep. 14 2010 at 3:16 pm
krissynicole BRONZE, Brownwood, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 14 comments

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Dream as youll live forever live as if youll die tomorrow

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one word........ AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt the emotion
ChelseaaNichole BRONZE said...
on Sep. 14 2010 at 7:33 am
ChelseaaNichole BRONZE, Dayton, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
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in thee class dicussion we talkedabout how the father was wanting him to do stuff that he wanted at 1st . i just thought the father was being sarcastic , then i learned that he was just doinq what was best for his son, so that his son that if he wanted to do something he would have to work hard and try , nd to not let anyone tell hime that he cant do something that he wantedd..
brown-eyed-babiey BRONZE said...
on Sep. 13 2010 at 1:29 pm
brown-eyed-babiey BRONZE, Dayton, Ohio
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this was a good poem and i had to do this poem for a class discussion and we finally under stood the  concept after discussing and i liked how it was worded so keep up the good work
AbstractFragment GOLD said...
on Sep. 12 2010 at 9:13 pm
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I really enjoyed this.

 

The first couple stanzas leave you wonder about the father, until the last two lines. It seems the father doesn't want the narrator to leave like all fathers, and has "chained" the narrator.

HannahLee BRONZE said...
on Sep. 12 2010 at 4:02 pm
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I really do enjoy this poem, but... the "I"s are really bothering me. Everything else that's supposed to be capitalized is capitalized (even "my Father" is capitalized, albeit arbitrarily)... everything except for the "I"s.
TheEdgar PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 11 2010 at 9:13 pm
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read deeper into the poem, or look at it from a new perspective
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 11 2010 at 7:43 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
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jeeze, beautiul_but_torn, didn't it occur to you that the guy might not have meant it literally?
miss.snw said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 9:02 pm
miss.snw, San Antonio, Texas
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This is a very interesting poem. It can mean different things to different people and that can be called a successful work of writing. A tad confusing, but really unique and different. Nice job.
BillyMays said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 9:27 am
This doesnt make any sense. if i was you i would consider revising
blah said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 9:25 am

this is really interesting but i am very confused

TheEdgar PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 1:09 pm
TheEdgar PLATINUM, Fayetteville, North Carolina
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Very intimate, I enjoy your writing.
LyrikalTreasure BRONZE said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 9:14 am
LyrikalTreasure BRONZE, Charlotte, North Carolina
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I really like a brief discription of the ending......
j.smith## said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 7:32 am
the peom is great.but can you please explain the ending to me .... i dnt understand it ....
speech.write.crazy GOLD said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 6:59 pm
speech.write.crazy GOLD, Bailey, Colorado
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This is a really good poem! It's sad though because this is true for some people. Good job!

Please look at my work!

Josue SILVER said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 2:28 pm
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thats what i was thinkin XD

And how he said "I saw my father pull on a chain" shows it

ChelseaaNichole BRONZE said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 7:40 am
ChelseaaNichole BRONZE, Dayton, Ohio
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i like the the poem. its tells alot about how the boy wants to do different thing . and his father dont really agree
mskullgirl GOLD said...
on Sep. 6 2010 at 6:03 pm
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This is amazing! I love it!!!!!!!
syed954 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 6 2010 at 9:42 am
syed954 BRONZE, Coral Springs, Florida
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Wow, that was a great poem. One of my poems was just accepted and is now online. Can you guys please comment and rate it?
Mickee BRONZE said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 10:44 pm
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i actually think i get it, the first time i read it i didnt but the last two lines hold it together, nice :)
countrygirl said...
on Aug. 30 2010 at 8:51 pm
that is a realy beatiful poem.!