Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2183 comments.


on Sep. 14 2010 at 3:16 pm
krissynicole BRONZE, Brownwood, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dream as youll live forever live as if youll die tomorrow

one word........ AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt the emotion

on Sep. 14 2010 at 7:33 am
ChelseaaNichole BRONZE, Dayton, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
in thee class dicussion we talkedabout how the father was wanting him to do stuff that he wanted at 1st . i just thought the father was being sarcastic , then i learned that he was just doinq what was best for his son, so that his son that if he wanted to do something he would have to work hard and try , nd to not let anyone tell hime that he cant do something that he wantedd..

on Sep. 13 2010 at 1:29 pm
brown-eyed-babiey BRONZE, Dayton, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
this was a good poem and i had to do this poem for a class discussion and we finally under stood the  concept after discussing and i liked how it was worded so keep up the good work

on Sep. 12 2010 at 9:13 pm
AbstractFragment GOLD, Dalmatia,, Pennsylvania
18 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You know what it feels like when all your teeth are falling out really slowly and you don't realize and then you notice that, well, they're really far apart. And then one day... you don't have any teeth anymore." - Where the Wild Things Are

I really enjoyed this.

 

The first couple stanzas leave you wonder about the father, until the last two lines. It seems the father doesn't want the narrator to leave like all fathers, and has "chained" the narrator.


on Sep. 12 2010 at 4:02 pm
HannahLee BRONZE, El Paso, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.&quot;<br /> -- Lucille Ball

I really do enjoy this poem, but... the "I"s are really bothering me. Everything else that's supposed to be capitalized is capitalized (even "my Father" is capitalized, albeit arbitrarily)... everything except for the "I"s.

on Sep. 11 2010 at 9:13 pm
TheEdgar PLATINUM, Fayetteville, North Carolina
22 articles 1 photo 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you are in need of forgetting something, make a note to remember it.&quot;

read deeper into the poem, or look at it from a new perspective

on Sep. 11 2010 at 7:43 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments
jeeze, beautiul_but_torn, didn't it occur to you that the guy might not have meant it literally?

miss.snw said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 9:02 pm
miss.snw, San Antonio, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments
This is a very interesting poem. It can mean different things to different people and that can be called a successful work of writing. A tad confusing, but really unique and different. Nice job.

BillyMays said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 9:27 am
This doesnt make any sense. if i was you i would consider revising

blah said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 9:25 am

this is really interesting but i am very confused


on Sep. 8 2010 at 1:09 pm
TheEdgar PLATINUM, Fayetteville, North Carolina
22 articles 1 photo 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you are in need of forgetting something, make a note to remember it.&quot;

Very intimate, I enjoy your writing.

on Sep. 8 2010 at 9:14 am
LyrikalTreasure BRONZE, Charlotte, North Carolina
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I Am What I Am..And What Im Not.Il Never Be&quot;

I really like a brief discription of the ending......

j.smith## said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 7:32 am
the peom is great.but can you please explain the ending to me .... i dnt understand it ....

on Sep. 7 2010 at 6:59 pm
speech.write.crazy GOLD, Bailey, Colorado
19 articles 3 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Instead of giving myself reasons why I can&#039;t, I give myself reasons why I can. Go for it and don&#039;t look back, go for things with your whole heart.&quot;

This is a really good poem! It's sad though because this is true for some people. Good job!

Please look at my work!


Josue SILVER said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 2:28 pm
Josue SILVER, Hartford, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you are Surrounded by hell your only choice to survive is to walk on Gods Lane<br /> -Roberto Josue Sanchez

thats what i was thinkin XD

And how he said "I saw my father pull on a chain" shows it


on Sep. 7 2010 at 7:40 am
ChelseaaNichole BRONZE, Dayton, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
i like the the poem. its tells alot about how the boy wants to do different thing . and his father dont really agree

on Sep. 6 2010 at 6:03 pm
mskullgirl GOLD, Waban, Massachusetts
14 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream -Edgar Allen Poe

This is amazing! I love it!!!!!!!

syed954 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 6 2010 at 9:42 am
syed954 BRONZE, Coral Springs, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments
Wow, that was a great poem. One of my poems was just accepted and is now online. Can you guys please comment and rate it?

Mickee BRONZE said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 10:44 pm
Mickee BRONZE, Yorktown Heights, New York
4 articles 1 photo 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Erica Albright (Rooney Mara): &quot;You are going to go through life thinking that girls don&#039;t like you because you&#039;re a nerd. And I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that that won&#039;t be true. It&#039;ll be because you&#039;re an asshole.&quot;<br /> <br /> Mark Zuckerberg: &quot;I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try, but there&#039;s no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing. Did I adequately answer your condescending question?<br /> <br /> &quot;You&#039;re not the same as you were before, You were much more...muchier...you&#039;ve lost your muchness.&quot;<br /> I feel like I just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.

i actually think i get it, the first time i read it i didnt but the last two lines hold it together, nice :)

countrygirl said...
on Aug. 30 2010 at 8:51 pm
that is a realy beatiful poem.!