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Daddy's Womb MAG
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
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This article has 2183 comments.
I meant to say "I wasn't really sure about the theme..."
Sorry about the grammatical errors I'm kinda in a hurry.
My boyfriend doesn't have an account on here but he wanted me to say:
"I view this as a poem about an abusive dad. Or a drunk dad. Or both. Its like the dad is teasing the boy to do what he wants, but the boy is chained down because of his dad. I see this poem as something that could have been written by a boy who misses his dad. Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't poetry about perception anyways?"
I do agree that the rhymes may not be the best out there, but the idea is completed. And it's a very strong idea. The idea, I think, is what completes this poem. It's bitter and harsh, and it send a shiver down my spine when I read the last verse.
However I'm glad that you have the guts to say what you thought was wrong with the poem and I respect you for that. If you don't mind, could you look at some of my pieces? But only if you are ok with me starting a debate with you. I like to fully understand criticisms, and for some reason I only fully understand after I've exhausted all arguments against them.
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Favorite Quote:
"There are two main tragedies in life. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." -Oscar Wilde